Gaepo-dong, Seoul, South Korea

March 1992

The rules of engagement have changed already.

Within a month of their arrival from Australia, Mrs. Helen Koh found her family a suitable apartment in a good school district in Seoul. The middle-class neighborhood of Gaepo was not as nice as the one where her sister, Sonya, lived, but it had to suffice. After paying key money for the two-year lease, a painful sum that consumed the bulk of the family’s savings, and replacing the most urgent things before the shipping container from Sydney could be delivered, Helen accepted that there just wasn’t room in the budget for any place better.

Their rental house in Campsie, a suburb of Sydney, had four bedrooms, a den, and a generous backyard for cookouts. Their Seoul apartment, on the third floor of a five-year-old building put up quickly by mediocre developers, had three small bedrooms, a decent-size living room, and two baths. The largest bedroom went to the two boys, Bo and DH; Helen and her husband, John, occupied the medium-size bedroom; and the tiny one near the foyer was for Mido, the child Helen worried about the most. From the outset of their marriage, John had put his sensible wife in charge of the household finances. Helen’s thrift and good judgment allowed him to focus on his career. For almost two decades, on Monday mornings, Helen had given John a weekly allowance for his carfare, meals, and pocket money; then it was her job to make do with the remainder of his salary for their tithes, living expenses, and retirement savings, if any, and in that order. A former math major at Seoul National University, John preferred problems he could solve on paper, and family life had far too many unknown variables.

Raising three children was costly, and when they were still young, Helen began working as a retail sales associate to supplement John’s steady income, which was inadequate for their mounting needs. John’s work had taken the Koh family to Paramus, Seoul, and Sydney. In each city, Helen’s supervisors recognized her talent as a reliable salesperson.

For each of the three Koh children, Helen kept a spiral notebook, and on the back flap, she pasted a manila envelope where she tucked away cash for their school fees, clothing, and sundries. This year’s envelopes were lighter than usual because the children had needed many new things upon their return to Korea. In addition to school uniforms, Bo and DH required larger sneakers, thicker winter coats, and stacks of study guides. Mido, the youngest, had not grown as much as her brothers, so her wardrobe would serve another year; however, in Sydney, she had needed to see learning specialists, which had wiped out her portion of the savings.