The Shadow King could destroy me.

I can feel it. When the ancient demon’s magic swallows us both, I sense my own ruin, but there is nothing I can do to stop it.

His swirling black wisps tighten like a fist around my rib cage, then…pain. Squeezing, crushing, breath-stealing pain.

On the grassy hill above the Northern Chapter’s Keep, his myrrh-and-sap-scented smoke turns opaque, obscuring my view of Nick running to stop us. The King’s magic billows, until all I can see is Nick’s aether armor glinting in the sun. His outstretched hand. His blue eyes burning for battle. My final memory of the Keep is Nick, fighting to keep me safe.

There have been so many fights and losses, just to keep me safe.

Volition, a haven destroyed because I took shelter on its ancestral grounds. Lu, Hazel, and Mariah’s Rootcrafter refuge, compromised because they offered me sanctuary. Alice, in a coma after I struck her down in the throes of possession. Selwyn, succumbed to demonia after consuming my power to bring me back to myself. And Nick, risking his life by returning to the very same Order that sent Merlin assassins to kill him. Too many fights. Too many losses.

The King grasps my hand.

“I’m sorry,” I say to Nick, to everyone, to myself.

I avoided Nick before I climbed the hill because if anyone could stop me from leaving, it would be him. Nick’s eyes see too much, too clearly, and always have. He would offer understanding when I don’t want to be understood.

Not for this.

I whisper, “Please know that I—”

Then, we are traveling through shadows.