Mayci Neeley and the women of MomTok burst into the center of pop culture when Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives took the world by storm. But the show barely scratched the surface of Mayci’s personal story. From becoming a mom at twenty, to losing her son’s father in a tragic car accident, to going back to college as a single mother, she’s only ever given us glimpses of the challenging things she’s been through. Now, finally, she’s ready to tell us everything.

In this inspiring and darkly funny memoir, Mayci lifts the veil for readers on what growing up Mormon is really like and how it’s strict standards completely blow up for many young people when they get to college. When Mayci arrived at BYU on a tennis scholarship, she was unprepared to manage the temptations she’d been taught were sins. She found herself drinking too much, stuck in an abusive relationship, and on the verge of falling down a dark and dangerous path. Suddenly, she was pregnant at nineteen and mourning a boyfriend she’d been building a future with. Mayci captures the period from college to adulthood with brutal honesty, grace, and humor, offering up a heartfelt portrait of a woman finding her voice and her strength.

All of these trials led to her current love story, her journey with IVF, and of course the inside story of MomTok. Fans looking for a juicy play-by-play on the friend group drama will get everything they want—and then some—but more than anything, readers will walk away with a sense of confidence in themselves and an ability to wear their scars proudly.

This book contains scenes depicting sexual assault and domestic abuse.