The Beauty in Breaking by Michele Harper
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The Beauty in Breaking by Michele Harper

Memoir

The Beauty in Breaking

Debut

by Michele Harper

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Quick take

Forget Grey’s Anatomy. Here’s the real story of an ER doctor's life, from injustice and heartbreak to healing and hope.

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  • Illustrated icon, Heavy_Read

    Heavy read

  • Illustrated icon, Inspirational

    Inspirational

  • Illustrated icon, Nonlinear_Timeline

    Nonlinear timeline

  • Illustrated icon, Literary

    Literary

Synopsis

Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room physician in a profession that is overwhelmingly male and white. Brought up in Washington, D.C., in an abusive family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. They stayed together through medical school until two months before she was scheduled to join the staff of a hospital in central Philadelphia, when he told her he couldn't move with her. Her marriage at an end, Harper began her new life in a new city, in a new job, as a newly single woman.

In the ensuing years, as Harper learned to become an effective ER physician, bringing insight and empathy to every patient encounter, she came to understand that each of us is broken—physically, emotionally, psychically. How we recognize those breaks, how we try to mend them, and where we go from there are all crucial parts of the healing process.

The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper's journey toward self-healing. Each of the patients Harper writes about taught her something important about recuperation and recovery. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. How to tell the truth when it's simpler to overlook it. How to understand that compassion isn't the same as justice. As she shines a light on the systemic disenfranchisement of the patients she treats as they struggle to maintain their health and dignity, Harper comes to understand the importance of allowing ourselves to make peace with the past as we draw support from the present. In this hopeful, moving, and beautiful book, she passes along the precious, necessary lessons that she has learned as a daughter, a woman, and a physician.

Read a sample

Get an early look from the first pages of The Beauty in Breaking.

The Beauty in Breaking

Introduction

God breaks the heart again and again and again until it stays open.
—Hazrat Inayat Khan

As I cradled my patient’s head in my hands, I looked past the watery wells of his eyes. For a moment, I didn’t notice the blood that ran in rivulets across my gloves as it poured from his scalp, or the bits of gray and white brain matter that dotted the sheets. The beeping of the monitors around me, the popping sound of IV catheter tops being flicked off by nurses, the screeching of wheels as equipment was dragged across linoleum floors, the nurses and techs yelling directions at one another, the stifled gasps erupting from the two medical students on their first ER shift attempting in vain not to be startled—all were drowned out as I stood over this young man and tried to ease his agitation.

This is the part of being a doctor that medical school doesn’t cover, that case reviews don’t prepare you for. This is the part you can’t really know until you’re in the moment: You are the person responsible for saving the human life that slowly slips through your fingers while silently begging for final redemption under the demanding fluorescent lights.

I am the doctor whose palms bolster the head of the twenty-?­year-?­old man with a gunshot wound to his brain. I support the baby as she takes her first breath outside her mother’s womb. I hug the wife whose husband is dying from advanced liver disease as she implores the universe to take away his pain.

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